But now, we are stuck. Stuck at the cottage that we so badly desired. Stuck on our property with snowy trails and frozen creeks. "Stuck like Chuck", to quote my husband. (Poor Chuck, whomever he is! Always stuck.) At least that is how I was viewing it up until this past week. As I fought off anxiety and worry, and even the slippery slope of returning depression, I viewed myself as being a stuck prisoner and victim. But now, I am learning that there is a huge difference in perspective between "stuck" and "rest".
I can now say that I am so very thankful for this forced Sabbath rest. Now that I have made it through the weeping ballerina who has to take a semester off from classes, and the myriad of "Awwww"s that emanated from other disappointed children, I am embracing the beauty of this time ahead. I am avidly reading and studying how to better simplify our homeschool for a more permanent structure. I am seeing where I am succeeding and hugely failing at discipling, as well as educating my children. I have been made aware of how poorly I was trying to accomplish so much through my own inadquate strength versus resting in God's sufficient hand. I am realizing how skewed my goals and priorities have become in so many areas. I am made aware again, that I am a mess and I need a Savior. Thank goodness Emmanuel came!
So as I view this glorious scene from the windows surrounding my desk, I gaze while feeling more hope and optimism about 2016 than I have felt in a very long time. Yes, we're still stuck. Yes, I still desire to fulfill my childrens' every longing and curiosity. Yes, we're still only getting a few hours of sunlight each day. Yes, we're still staring at those orange walls that I was sure I would have painted by now. However, I can now rest in the everlasting grace and be confident that Emmanuel is still God with ME! He has not left nor forsaken my family. I know without a doubt that the Sabbath is a gift; a time to re-prioritize, refresh, and rejoice in what I already have, as well as trusting Him for what lies ahead.
Happy New Year to You and Yours!
Hillary At Home